& message you without being judged.
Beeeee my…..guest! Be my guest! Be my gue…wait, is that even how it goes?
& message you without being judged.
Beeeee my…..guest! Be my guest! Be my gue…wait, is that even how it goes?
I know I don’t have many followers, but if it isn’t too much to ask I would like for everyone to just take a second to read my story. The pictures above are a summary of my life the past two years. From my first date with Christian, to my first and only prom with him, to finding out I was pregnant and starting our family. As you can see the past two years have sort of been a roller coast ride for me, with plenty of ups and downs. But I can easily say they were the best two years of my life. There are a few dates I will never forget, starting with February 26th, 2012. That was the day me and christian officially started our relationship. The next date is July 11th, 2012. The day I found out I was approximately 7 weeks pregnant. January 12th, 2013, the day we moved into our little house. Then February 13th, 2013. The day my son, Noah Clark Carden came into the world. I’ll never forget June 8th, 2013, the day Christian was taken to jail (just a minor probation violation), and July 23rd, 2013, the day he was released. After that, the dates are all kind of just a blur and a flash of good memories. Until, October 30th, 2013. That is the night Christian died. I found him, he had committed suicide. I stayed by his side until the ambulance arrived, but he had no heart beat. I followed them to the hospital and as soon as they resuscitated him and he was stable they allowed me in his room. At first I sat by his side holding his hand, and I just cried. He was breathing on his own through a tube, and a machine was doing most of the work for his heart. Just when I lost all hope one of the nurses told me, “You know you can talk to him, right? Hearing is always the last thing to go in a situation like this”. So I did, I told him many things. Countless times I told him how much I loved him. How much me and Noah needed him. That if he would just fight for me, and come back, that God would give us another chance to do things right and to be a family. I just went on and on, and when I looked up, his eyes were half open and he was crying. Tears streaming down his face. That’s when I knew.. he wasn’t going to be able to come back to me, and he knew it too. But I stayed there, I stayed by his side until they called his death and removed the machines. And for an additional two hours I sat there with my head on his chest, and I played with his hair because that was his favorite thing. I stayed until the nurses said it was time to go, I looked at him, whispered I love you, kissed him on the forehead, and I walked out. Christian suffered from depression, but not a lot of people knew that because he never reached out to anyone. He had stopped his antidepressants, but he didn’t let anyone know. He truly felt that if he died nobody would miss him, that we were all better off without him.. well he was wrong. But he couldn’t help that he felt this way, he was sick. People don’t understand how severe a mental illness can be just because you cannot see it. So this post has two messages in it. ONE, if you are depressed and you feel like you have no purpose, like you are not loved, well you are WRONG. There are many people out there that will be affected and deeply hurt to lose you. Christian didn’t realize that until it was too late. And two, if you are having suicidal thoughts… reach out to someone.. anyone. You can even message me day or night, and I will talk if you want to talk, or listen if you want me to listen. Don’t keep things hidden, and don’t feel embarrassed, scared, or ashamed.. please. You are not unwanted, you are not any different, you are depressed, and there is a cure. I would give anything to go back and tell Christian all of this, why I waited until it was too late… I dont know. And I will never forgive myself. So don’t make that mistake. Life is too short to spread hate, to hold grudges, to cut ties. Instead forgive, spread love, and find happiness. Christian always told me how much he loved to make other people happy, and it was true. I can’t name all the favors that were left unreturned.. but he didn’t care. He did it for the joy of making someones day. He was such a people pleaser, if he couldn’t make somebody happy, he felt like he had failed. What he didn’t understand is that it wasn’t his responsibility to make others happy, but he took on the challenge anyways. When other people were hurting, Christian took in their pain as his own. Everyday took a toll on him, to the point where the pain was unbearable. But you would have never known if you met him. He would flash that smile and release every bit of happiness he had until he had none left. I know it seems cliche, but it is true. Reblog this to spread Suicide Awareness. If my story can help save just one life, well then I will feel accomplished. And if Christian knew he started something to inspire others, to bring someone to reach deep down inside and find their own inner happiness, and give them a reason to live, well then he would feel accomplished too. So please, help me do this for him. I may not have worded this exactly how I wanted to, or got everything out, but I think I did the best I could at this point.
I’m crying :’(
Usually I scroll past long things like this, but everyone needs to read this
I’ve never had a post make me sob so much.
It’s true, it’s real. Save a life.
DON’T FLASH HEADLIGHTS AT ANY CAR WITH NO LIGHTS ON!!
Police officers working with the DARE program have issued this Warning:
If you are driving after dark and see an on-coming car with no headlights on, DO NOT FLASH YOUR LIGHTS AT THEM!
This is a common Bloods member “initiation game” that goes like this:
The new gang member under initiation drives along with no headlights, and the first car to flash their headlights at him is now his ‘target’. He is now required to turn around and chase that car, then shoot and kill every individual in the vehicle in order to complete his initiation requirements. Police Depts. across the nation are being warned. Their intent is to have all the new bloods nationwide drive around on Friday and Saturday nights with their headlights off.
In order to be accepted into the gang, they have to shoot and kill all individuals in the first auto that does a courtesy flash to warn them that their lights are off. Make sure you share this information with all the drivers in your family!
Please forward this message to all of your friends and family members to inform them about this initiation ritual.
Scary o.O I remember when it used to be safe to do that.
Can I just reblog this again because this is beautiful.
ow ow ow owowow
"Thanks…for being my friend."
“It is common for koalas to roam back to their home range afterwards and become confused to find nothing there. A worker noticed a koala had been sitting stationary in broad daylight on top of wood piles for over an hour.”
my heart just broke
10 Signs Your Kitty Actually Loves You
Ever wondered if your kitty really loves you? From finicky to feisty, our feline friends aren’t always the easiest to read. Unlike dogs who make their affection for us loud and clear, cats have far less obvious ways of communicating how they feel. If you want to discover just how much your cat cares about you, then check out these 10 signs of true love.
1. Head butting. If a person were to do it to you, then you’d have a pretty good idea of what they were trying to tell you, but with a cat it’s a whole different story. To be on the receiving end of what is actually known in the cat world as ‘head bunting‘ is a very special privilege indeed. During this exchange your cat deposits facial pheromones that represent their feelings of trust and safety they have with you.
2. Powerful purrs. Cats purr for all sorts of reasons, but there is one unique full bodied rumble that your kitty saves exclusively for their true love. Purring also lowers your kitty’s heart rate and helps them to relax and exhibit feelings of contentment.
3. Love bites. If your cat is a chronic nibbler, then chances are they’ve got a thing for you. It’s pretty easy to tell the difference between a love bite and a regular cat bite, one hurts and the other tickles! Nibbling isn’t a common sign of love, but when a cat employs it, they’re trying to say “you’re awesome.”
4. Tail twitching. You can tell a lot by looking at a cat’s tail. Just as their tails puff out when they get scared or agitated, their tail will twitch at the very tip when they are feeling bliss. If you notice this action when your cat approaches you, then you can be sure that they think you rock their world.
5. Tummy up. When your cat throws itself on the floor and starts rolling around, they are trying to get your attention. Cats only show their tummies voluntarily to those they can trust. Feeling safe means a lot to a cat, so when they sprawl out in front of you, this is a sign that they feel loved and protected.
6. Licking your hair or ears. It’s not often that humans are deemed worthy of these very special grooming sessions, but if your cat has chosen to bestow you with hair or ear licking, rest assured you have been welcomed into the inner circle. Grooming is one of the most obvious signs of the friendship and trust you have with your furry companion.
7. Kneading. Kittens knead against their mothers to stimulate milk production, which is why experts believe that kneading behaviour in cats is nostalgic of kittenhood and acts as a way of reliving the happy moments they experienced as little ones. So next time your kitty starts moving its paws up and down on you, remember that they are not just trying to soften you up before taking a nap, but that they’re expressing their adoration for you.
8. Slow blinking. It is said that cats kiss with their eyes, so don’t expect to share this sign of affection with any old cat. Cats save eye contact for people they know and trust. If that eye contact is coupled with slow blinking then you’ve just received a kitty kiss. Return the love by mimicking the behavior.
9. Nap time. Kitties crave warm safe places to sleep, so if your fluffy feline decides to snuggle down beside you or better yet, on your lap, then you should feel especially honored. Cats are most vulnerable when they are sleeping, and there is no greater compliment than when they choose you as their snooze spot.
10. Gifting. There is no denying that a small dead something is not at the top of our wishlist, but a kitty that presents you with this bounty deserves to be praised. Despite our domestication, cats still have the inner hunter and sharing their prizes with you is a sign of true friendship.
If you’ve been fortunate enough to share your life with a cat, then you’ll understand that they are consciously connecting with us. Whether it’s via grooming, purring or snuggling up, cats are loving and affectionate individuals that form very special bonds with their favorite people.